


The Backrooms

by eloquent_apollo



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Memory Loss, Monsters, Unhappy Ending, backrooms inspired fic, narrator has memory loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:49:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26899969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eloquent_apollo/pseuds/eloquent_apollo
Summary: After a car accident, according to the doctors, A----- slips into a coma. In reality, his mind has entered the backrooms, miles and miles of empty hallways and rooms that are dimly lit. With no memories of who he was before the backrooms and no weapons, he has to explore the halls alone as he tries to make sense of who he used to be. The backrooms are quiet, the only sound comes from the fluorescent lights hanging overhead. He is all alone in what A believes might be hell, until one night he hears the screaming of something else. A monster.Maybe the backrooms aren’t empty after all.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	The Backrooms

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to Alina & Imke for beta'ing for me <3
> 
> Here is a little bit of info on what the backrooms are: "This realm is said to be out of the boundaries of the real world and can only be accessed through no-clipping (flying out of the "map") out of reality. It consists in a never-ending maze of yellow-ish empty rooms deprived of windows" anyway that's all, it's basically a creepypasta? I hope you enjoy this fic (:

* * *

Rules

1\. Don’t look back

2\. It’s best to be alone

3\. Look at your watch, it’s the only thing stopping you from losing it in the labyrinth

4\. When you hear  _ it _ . It’s too late. It heard you too

Welcome to the back rooms, and good luck.

* * *

Bright lights. The sound of metal snapping under immense pressure. Screaming. Pain.

Darkness.

Those are his last memories before he wakes up in a strange room, with nothing but fluorescent lights buzzing overhead to keep him company. He doesn’t even remember what his name used to be, He can only recall that it starts with an A. It’s the most he has of himself, so he clings to it and repeats it softly to himself.

“A. My name is A,” He whispers, so softly even A himself doesn’t hear it.

He tries to remember what letter comes after the A, or anything else about his life that may come to him if he just tries  _ harder _ . Nothing comes to him, except for a painful pounding in his head that tells him to stop, so he does. A stays on the floor, looking up at the buzzing lights. They flicker, just fast enough that it’s barely noticeable, but from his position on the floor, It’s the only thing he can look at. He wants to turn away, but his muscles refuse to obey. If A died, this must be hell. The thought doesn’t horrify him, almost as if, while alive, he expected it to happen. All he can do is stare at the ceiling and wait for his muscles to cooperate.

He doesn’t know how long it takes him to regain control over his muscles and some of his senses. Time doesn’t feel real here and there are no clocks to track the passing of time, though A feels like there might be a watch on his right wrist. He tries to check, but his limbs stubbornly refuse to listen to his demands. He struggles for a few moments longer before giving up for now. Would clocks and time even work in hell, he mused. Surely, if he had been bad enough to be condemned he wouldn’t have the luxury of being able to bide his time. He wonders if maybe the reason for his sudden paralysis is because of the nature of which he died in the real world. He doesn’t remember it, but from his jagged memory he has the sense it might have been a car crash. For all A knows, he could simply be permanently paralyzed. Hell would be cruel enough to keep him trapped in a room like this, unable to fend for himself. Idly he wonders if he would starve to death, only to wake up and do it all over again.

While he fights with his body for control over his senses, he takes in the state of the room he’s in. The only light source comes from the fluorescent lights hanging overhead, attached to a popcorn ceiling that has clearly seen it’s better days. The base coat of paint seems like It used to be white, but the dark spots and dust covering every inch of the ceiling makes it hard to tell. For a second, A thinks some of the stains might be blood, but the room is empty. There are no potential weapons, and when he strains his ears he hears only silence from the hallways. With some trouble, A manages to shift his attention to the walls by turning his head. He is finally starting to regain some power over his own body, and he feels triumphant. He won’t die in this room, not if he can stop himself. He still can’t actually get up though, so instead he returns his attention to the state of the walls. They have layers of white paint that has turned an ugly nicotine yellow and has almost chipped away at some parts of the wall. It makes his fingers ache for a cigarette.

_ My name is A, and I used to smoke. _

He doesn’t have any other information about himself, so all he has, he files away, repeats it to himself like a mantra. Over and over and over again, until he knows he won’t forget these truths about himself.

The next sense that returns to him is smell, and the stench of mouldy carpet attacks his nose. He’s lying on the mouldy carpets, but he can’t get up. He gasps frantically, but with each inhale the scent becomes stronger and it leaves him gagging. He can only wither around fruitlessly, his muscles still refusing to cooperate past that point. Panic settles into his stomach, and suddenly the thought that he has to be quiet comes back. He has to be quiet, so, so, quiet, or  _ it _ will get him. He doesn’t know what  _ it  _ is, fear deep in his bones tells him he doesn’t  _ want  _ to know. He forces himself to take deep and steadying breaths, and finally, he’s able to lift his arms.

On his arm is a watch that tells him it’s 12, but he can’t tell whether it’s midnight or noon. The glass is cracked, and A worries that it may not work anymore. He brings it up to his ear, and the familiar  _ tick tick tick _ of the watch eases his worries. It won’t survive another blow, but for now, it works. A decides that it is 12 PM, because there are no windows to judge the passing of time. It’s another means to keep himself from spiralling, another thing to tell him he is real.

_ His name is A, he used to smoke and it’s 12 in the afternoon _ .

The last is only a half truth, but it settles the nerves in his body nonetheless.

One good look around the room tells A there is nothing to defend himself with, and although he can get up and explore the hallway outside, an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach keeps him in the room instead. The door leading outside is slightly open, however, and he feels brave enough to peer out through the tiny crack. There is a long hallway, with the same stained white paint job. There are doors down the hall, and all the way at the end where the hall bends to the right, A sees shadows. He moves away from the door, away from the creak and out of sight. He wants to close the door, but the fear of making a noise keeps him from doing so. When he looks around the corner, what feels like an hour later—according to his watch, it’s been only 13 minutes—the shadows have gone. A doesn’t feel safe yet, so he stays in the corner and strains his ears for any sound of danger.

-

A ends up staying in his room for the better part of 2 hours. Outside of the room he hears nothing but the buzzing of the lights, but when he opens the door and steps outside he still feels like he’s being followed. Every 10 minutes he finds himself glancing down at his watch, confirming that time still works where he is. If A could find a weapon, maybe he wouldn’t feel so vulnerable. His hands ache for the familiar weight of a knife. He doesn’t know why a knife feels like a familiar weapon. The more he tries to remember his past, the worse the pain burning behind his eyes gets. He gives up.

After hours of walking, A decides he should find a spot to rest. There are countless rooms to choose from, but none of them make A feel safe. He keeps walking, scanning rooms and opening random doors. None of them make him feel like he could stay there for the night.

“For fuck sake,” he mutters.

Then he hears it

The room next to him isn’t empty. Someone shuffled away from the door at the sound of A’s frustrated voice. Slowly he turns, until he is standing directly in front of it. There is a small window, but it’s covered with so much dirt and dust that A can’t actually look through it. He can see the vague shadow of something in a far corner in the back. It doesn’t seem hostile, but A doesn’t want to try his chances. He slowly backs away from the door, and then takes off. He takes random turns, his feet taking him somewhere without his mind thinking twice about it. He doesn’t stop running until he collapses to his knees in a hallway. On his left is a room, and when A regains the strength to stand, he goes inside. The room is empty, but there is a butcher’s knife on the floor. A lays down next to it, clutching it to his chest, before falling asleep.

-

_ “Are you seriously going to drive right now?” _

_ “Yes. Calm down, I can drive.” _

__

-

A wakes up from a dream that made no sense. Vague faces and voices he feels like he should recognise, but when he tries to make sense of them his mind comes up empty. He sits up and puts the butcher knife down in front of his feet. The knife looks sharp, like someone had just sharpened it before dropping it in the room. He wonders if it belonged to someone who died in the room or if it was left here by whatever made this fucked up labyrinth. Either way it’s A’s now. He wishes he had something to store it in, but the best he can do is hold it tightly as he gets up and paces the room. His whole body feels stiff from sleeping on the hard floor. The carpet did nothing to protect him against the flooring underneath. It takes some time of stretching and walking around before he is ready to keep moving. When he opens the door, he is face to face with hazel eyes.

In a flash of movement, a knife comes up and A only barely has the time to block the attack with his own knife. His opponent's knife is smaller, like a pocket knife. Despite his weapon being smaller, his opponent has more skills on his side. He kicks A in the chest, causing him to fall back on his ass. In the blink of an eye, the pocket knife is pressed against his throat, the sharp point putting pressure on the carotid artery in his neck. If he decides to press harder, he will bleed to death in two minutes. A stays where he is, giving his opponent the win.

“Who are you?” He hisses.

“I’m Neil,” A replies. Lying comes easy. He’s done this before.

“You’re lying.”

“I don’t remember my name. Only the first letter. That’s all I have to give you.”

It’s not a lie, and the other guy seems to know so. He takes his knife back from his throat and stands up straight.

“Stay the fuck away from me,” he says, and before Neil can ask if he’s the same person from the other night, the other man turns and runs away.

Neil watches him go, rubbing a hand over his neck. There’s no blood when he pulls back, so he stands and goes the other direction.

-

A decides he likes being Neil. It’s easier than figuring out who he used to be before this hellish nightmare. The name might have been a lie, but he feels like Neil could become his truth down here. It’s an identity to cling onto, a way to not die a phantom, even if he will die alone out here. It’s been 3 days since his encounter with the short blonde guy and he hasn’t met a single other person in here. He’s pretty sure that if there were other people in here, there would be no way to run into them. Neil had assumed he’d been walking in circles at first, but he still hasn’t found the room where he woke up on the first day. He only tried to go back once, but the hallway he had come from had dead ended in a big room. He stayed in the room for an hour and when he went out the layout was different. The hallways changed every hour, sometimes he could hear the creaking and groaning of halls shifting and new rooms being added to the already confusing labyrinth of rooms. If there is a door that leads out, it’s probably all the way in the middle of the labyrinth. Neil had tried creating a map in his head, but with the layout constantly changing he abandoned that idea almost immediately. Now he wanders around aimlessly, hoping to find an exit.

He’s already discovered the halls aren’t actually empty, but he never expected there to be monsters. When he turns a corner, he stops in front of the half decayed corpse of…. something. It looks like a pulsating sack of meat, with half of it rotting away. There is a black liquid on the floor, which Neil assumes is the thing’s blood. He creeps a little closer, reaching out to touch it, when footsteps behind him catch him off guard. He turns and finds himself face to face with the blond man from earlier. He has no idea how he managed to get so close to him, they are almost chest to chest, and when the blond man takes a step forward, Neil steps back, right into the black liquid.

“Are you stupid?” The blond man asks.

“Yes,” Neil says.

The blond man rolls his eyes and pulls him out of the liquid, shoving him so Neil is behind him.

“This is a reptan. That's what we call them anyway. Be glad you haven’t found one that’s alive. One of this size is not easy to kill.”

The man keeps walking and Neil goes after him without putting much thought into it. The blond man looks back with an uninterested stare, but he doesn’t tell Neil to leave him alone like the other time, so he follows him further. The man takes him through long stretches of hallways, taking turns at random before opening a door and beckoning for Neil to go inside.

“Stop following me,” he says, before slamming the door shut in Neil’s face.

He can hear him walking away, but Neil doesn’t go to follow. He just hopes this will be the last time where he runs into this guy.

-

Of course it isn’t the last time he runs into the blond man. The following day, when he turns a corner he finds himself face to face with him again. He’s sitting on the floor, a small dead reptan laying at his feet. The man’s breathing is laboured, he’s clutching his side with a blood covered hand.

“Come here,” Neil says, as he moves closer to the man. “Let me take care of your wound.”

Surprisingly enough, the man lets him. He can feel strong hazel eyes piercing through him, as he rips a piece of his own shirt’s sleeve to make a make-shift bandage. The wound is shallow enough that blood loss won’t kill him, but Neil isn’t sure if the Reptan’s claws will cause an infection.

“Who named it a Reptan?” Neil finds himself asking. The man had said ‘we’ before, but he was noticeably all alone.

“My brother. I don’t know if he’s dead, but he just disappeared one night.”

Neil doesn’t press, instead moves away to give him space. The blond man says nothing, but watches the dead Reptan as if he can kill it again with only his gaze.

“Are you ever going to tell me your name?”

“Andrew.”

They say nothing else to each other. They just sit in the hallway, the stench of the slowly decaying Reptan fills Neil’s nose. It’s an awful stench and it makes his eyes tear. Andrew doesn’t respond to it at all, just sits there and looks at the corpse. The only sound between them is their own breaths and the sounds of the halls shifting further down the labyrinth. Neil doesn’t know what compels him to finally speak again, but when he turns to Andrew he finds him already staring at him.

“Do you think this is hell?”

Andrew doesn’t answer, he simply turns away. Neil sighs, before standing up and dusting off his pants. He keeps his eyes on Andrew, but he never acknowledges him.

“Stop staring,” Andrew finally says.

“We should travel together,” Neil says, like he never heard Andrew speak. It does succeed in finally catching Andrew’s attention, because he turns an unimpressed look on him. “Think about it. This place is probably thousands of miles long—”

“Six hundred million square miles, to be precise,” Andrew interrupts.

“Okay… Anyway, this place is huge, yet we still keep running into each other. Not to mention the fact the halls keep repositioning themselves. There should have been no way for us to run into each other as often as we did, and yet we did.”

“I don’t need someone to babysit me,” Andrew scoffs.

“Then don’t think of it like that.”

Andrew doesn’t respond to that, but after a while he gets up and begins to walk off. When Neil doesn’t immediately follow him, he turns and gestures at him to come along. Neil feels a little smug at having won Andrew over, and jogs over to Andrew, who has already started walking away again.

-

Andrew leads Neil through long hallways, never once stopping at the countless rooms they pass by in the process. They have been walking for two days and Neil is tired. Andrew doesn’t trust Neil to keep watch over him while he sleeps. He didn’t outright say it, but it is the only logical explanation for their endless wandering. Andrew doesn’t look nearly as tired as Neil feels, Maybe after you’ve been down here long enough you lose the need for sleep. Neil hasn’t felt the need to eat ever since he came here either.

Andrew hasn’t spoken to him since Neil found him and the Reptan. He still doesn’t know how he managed to sway Andrew in letting him come along, but he’s glad he did. Neil is pretty sure something big is following them. Sometimes he thinks he hears scuffling behind them, but when he turns he sees nothing. After doing that three times, Neil began to ignore it. Andrew didn’t seem to notice it either, nor has he brought it up. It could just as well have been the labyrinth changing its layout. He’s not afraid, necessarily, but he is on edge. There is a survivor instinct that’s apparently so deeply ingrained in him that even when he doesn’t know who he is, it has him searching for exits and fight strategies. It has him on edge but it leaves him feeling confident enough that if he’s attacked he can make it out alive. His only liability is Andrew.

He knows Andrew can fend for himself, he knows Andrew can fight, but neither men have fought  _ together. _ Not knowing his fighting style has him feeling uncertain that if they are in a quick fight, Andrew will make a wrong move that will impact their chances of survival. There is nothing he can do about that, though, because Andrew refuses to speak to him. If a fight does break out, Neil will just have to trust they both make the right moves. Neil will be of no use to either of them in his tired state, though, so he opens a door at random with the intent of looking for a place to sleep. Instead he finds a Reptan eating… something. No. Someone.

The Reptan turns its ugly head in Neil’s direction. There is blood dripping from sharp fangs and the sight makes Neil nauseous. He’s never seen a living Reptan before. Their eyes are a milky white, their face almost human-like, but just contorted enough that there is nothing human about it anymore. It screeches, and lunges at Neil, who throws himself to the side just in time to avoid getting his head bit off. Andrew pulls his knife out of his pocket, but the movement alerts the Reptan of a second prey. It surveys Andrew, then lunges, but before it can attack, Neil throws his butcher knife. It hits the Reptan in its back and it falls to the floor. Andrew stomps on its head a few times for good measure, black liquid covering the walls, more splatters flying up with every stomp. The squishing is enough to make Neil throw up, but nothing comes up except for some stomach acid, burning the back of his throat. His stomach aches painfully, not used to such a dire state of starvation.

“Get it together,” Andrew says, stepping away from the Reptan.

Neil’s hands tremble, his vision blurs, and it takes every bit of willpower he has not to pass out. Andrew grabs him by the arm and hauls him up, forcing him to keep walking. He shoves Neil’s knife into his trembling hands, but Neil almost drops it. Andrew clenches his own hand around Neil’s, squeezing so hard it hurts, forcing Neil to hold on. Andrew doesn’t let go until they turn a corner. Then he walks ahead of Neil and says nothing. Neil is surprised by Andrew holding him up like that, like he was a pillar supporting his tired body and a shield from the monsters down the hall. He didn’t mean to put so much faith in a man he barely knows, but it’s there now and Neil knows he has given it to someone he can trust to keep him safe. The distrust between them is mostly gone and Neil knows he can lean on Andrew for support.

-

They end up finding a room that’s big enough for the two of them to sleep in. Andrew insisted on checking the surrounding rooms for any danger. While he did that, Neil got as comfortable as he could on the hard floors. He didn’t expect for sleep to come so easily after the Reptan attack from earlier, but he closed his eyes and drifts off.

_ The stretch of road is long and dark. There is no one with him except for the woman next to him in the car, but even with her by his side, Neil doesn’t feel safe. She never lets him drive, but now her harsh voice barks commands on what way to turn. The long road takes them all the way to the beach, where she makes him repeat every rule she ever taught him. Neil answers them all, echoing them back to the woman, who he now realises is his mother. When he realises she is saying goodbye, it’s too late. She lets out one last agonising breath, before slumping back into the chair. Neil tries to pull her loose, but her body doesn’t give way. He gets out, grabs all his supplies and whatever she had left for him, before dumping gasoline all over their car and setting it ablaze. _

__

_ The fire roars, but it shifts to a bonfire on another beach. Neil is surrounded with friends, who call him a name he can only barely catch. It’s familiar, while at the same time it means nothing to him. _

_ “ _ Abram, _ stop looking so sad already,” someone claps him on the back and Neil drags his gaze away from the fire, up to his friend’s face. He doesn’t look familiar to Neil anymore. _

_ “I’m dying,” Neil says. _

__

Neil wakes from his strange dream, his heart is pounding in his chest as he tries to make sense of what he saw. His real name is Abram, his mother died and he set their car on fire. He had friends, he had a life before this that he doesn’t remember. He aches for the comfort and simplicity of the night of the bonfire. He aches for the friends he left behind, who’s names and faces mean nothing to him anymore, but who’s distant memories mean everything to him. He feels tears burning behind his eyes, but he furiously blinks them away. He won’t cry, he won’t let himself be vulnerable here. Neil is a fighter, that much he knows about himself. He won’t give up, he won’t die down here. He will get his life back and if Andrew is real outside of this hell that he’s living in, he will fight for him too. 

He looks around the room for Andrew and finds him sitting against the wall furthest away from him. He is awake, but Neil can see exhaustion tugging at his body. He stayed awake to watch over Neil and it makes him feel  _ something  _ he can’t place.

“Why?”  _ Did you save me?  _ Andrew doesn’t voice the entire question, but Neil can tell it’s implied.

“It’s safer to travel together.”  _ It was on impulse. _

Neil had acted without thinking, his hands had moved before his mind even thought to protect Andrew. He could have used the moment to escape and use Andrew as bait, but thinking back to it, he knows he wouldn’t have done it. To say that he and Andrew are friends is a stretch, but they are something just a hair away from strangers. Something tells Neil he normally wouldn’t have gone out of his way to protect strangers, but something about Andrew was, well, it was just different. Something told Neil that Andrew was supposed to mean more to him than they both knew. Something told Neil that there was something connecting him and Andrew, both down here and out in the real world, but he couldn’t place what it was. He couldn’t say this to Andrew, though. It was easier to pretend it was for safety.

Andrew simply nods before leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. Neil watches until his breathing evens out and he knows Andrew is asleep, then he turns his back towards him and falls asleep as well.

-

Neil gained Andrew’s trust after the fight. Andrew speaks to him now, occasionally sharing a truth for a truth. Neil barely has anything to offer, but he gives whatever he has without hesitation. He trusts Andrew to keep his secrets safe, and in the quiet nights there is no one but Andrew to hear his whispers about his mother’s burning car. In return, Andrew talks about his family. He tells him about Kevin, his best friend who moved in with him and his cousin after his mother passed away. He talks about Aaron, his twin brother, who is in med school, and he talks about his cousin Nicky and his husband Erik. He tells all of this with an impassive look on his face, but Neil can tell from the way he speaks that he loves his family a lot. The words are quiet but the implications are loud, drowning out all sound around them until they can only hear themselves talk. Andrew’s voice is soothing, it calms Neil down and lulls him to sleep when he can’t do it himself. Neil has so little to give in return, but Andrew doesn’t seem to mind. Neil’s truths are held on credit until he can repay Andrew in full with the stories of his life and family. Neil knows he has one, he thinks back to the face he has slowly been able to put a name to. Seth Gordon was the first person who took him in after his mother’s death, who helped him through his pain and who introduced him to his other friends Matt, Dan and Allison. Neil has already told Andrew everything he remembers about Seth, like how he is studying to become a case worker who works with troubled youth. He told him about how he and Allison used to date but broke up because Seth wasn’t ready for a relationship and how they chose to stay friends. Neil even told him he believes Seth will take Allison back one of these days when he’s worked on improving himself enough. Andrew listens to it all, their voices the only sound aside from the distant sound of something  _ big  _ following them. Their voices are loud enough to drown it out, but every night it grows louder and louder until it will eventually drown both their voices out entirely.

-

Andrew doesn’t seem aware of the footsteps tracking their every move, and Neil slowly begins to believe that maybe there really isn’t anything following him. They have been traveling around the hallways for a week now, with the sound coming closer every night, but Andrew just walks like there is nothing to worry about. Strangely enough, it eases Neil’s mind. He trusts Andrew to protect him like Neil had done for him. Still, when the sound of footsteps suddenly stops, so does Neil. He can feel a strong gaze on his back and he turns ever so slowly. There is nothing behind them, except for a long stretch of hallway.

Then there is an inhuman scream, so loud it leaves Neil’s ear’s ringing in its wake. Andrew tenses up behind him, before grabbing Neil’s wrist and dragging him along as they run. They take turns at random, the only sounds that of their pounding footsteps and their ragged breathing as it tears their aching lungs apart. Finally they find a room to hide in, where they sit at the far back, still holding each other’s hands. They wait for the sounds of footsteps to come closer.

It never does.

-

After that they travel more carefully. They don’t hide in rooms anymore as long as they can avoid it. Putting distance between them and whatever they heard earlier is more important. Slowing down to sleep means letting it catch up and survival is more important. The first week, Neil is exhausted. Sleep pulls heavy on his limbs, dragging him down until he feels like he  _ needs _ to lie down and just sleep. Just close his eyes and let himself drift off into nothingness. Andrew won’t let him, he pulls on his arms and shoves his shoulders, forcing Neil to keep walking. Slowly the need to sleep starts to disappear, just like the need for everything else had. Neil doesn’t know if he’s slowly losing his humanity, if this is how you end up like the reptans. It’s a sick game of fate, where you spend all this time outrunning the monsters only to become one yourself. He is almost tempted to cut himself, just to prove that his body still knows how to bleed. The knife in his pocket weighs down heavy on his mind, his hands aching to take it out, but Neil tunes it out and focuses on Andrew’s back.

Neil hasn’t checked his watch in forever, time has started to pass and blur together in an unrecognisable blur of ticking seconds. He is too worried that in the split second it takes to look at his watch  _ something  _ will come out to hurt them, but they haven’t heard the shuffling footsteps of something chasing them in a long time. Neil almost feels like it is safe to look down at his wrist again, when his ears pick up on that dreadful scuffling. The sound comes from much closer than it had been before. Andrew heard it too, he has stopped walking and his hand is on his knife. Neil pulls out his and stands closer to Andrew, reaching for his free hand without even thinking it through. His eyes scan around the hall for any signs of danger. Nothing comes for them and just when Andrew takes a step forward, a loud inhuman screech comes from behind them. Andrew and Neil break into running, but the steps behind them are faster than either of them. Neil turns around to view the monster barrelling their way and stops. It’s still far away enough that they can hide from it, but Neil is tired of running and hiding. It’s time to protect the people he cares about and Andrew has made his way high up the list by now.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Andrew yells.

“Keep going!” Neil shouts.

Andrew runs back to him and tries to pull him along, but instead Neil pulls him close and presses his lips against Andrew’s. It catches him off guard, but Andrew returns the kiss. Kissing Andrew is exhilarating. His heart beats in his chest so loudly he knows Andrew can hear it- can feel it, too. Kissing Andrew is what feeling alive is like. It’s harsh, but welcoming and freeing. Neil doesn’t want to pull free from him, but he can’t let the monster catch them. He wants to protect Andrew, wants to repay him for all the shared truths and the nights they kept each other safe.

“Keep going, I’ll take care of it,” Neil promises.

Andrew looks at him, his usually impassive eyes filled with concern. Neil doesn’t know when he became so good at reading Andrew, but he can see he doesn’t want to leave Neil behind. With a smile, Neil gives him a kiss on the cheek, before pushing him away and walking towards the monster. Neil thinks to himself that he’s seen worse, and the face of his father comes to his mind.

“Don’t forget me, Andrew,” Neil says.

Because after all Neil is a lie, who can only live because Andrew has let him. Dying a lie is painful, but somehow Abram —or rather, Neil—had become his own truth. The thought is almost enough to bring him some sense of comfort , as he takes out his knife. He just wishes he could have given Andrew something more than the irrefutable truths of the fleeting memories that have plagued his dreams. He wishes he had the chance to meet Andrew outside of this nightmare, but as the monster’s sharp claws tear Neil’s essence apart, he knows this will be the end of him, his fabricated lies and his running. Andrew is safe, though, and that’s more important than the darkness tugging at Neil’s mind.

-

  
  


Andrew wakes up to the sobbing of a man from his right. On his left, he hears Nicky mumbling to someone that they wish they could have gotten Andrew a private room.

“Might not be too late for that,” Aaron mutters back.

“It kinda is,” Andrew groans out.

The sobbing doesn’t stop, but when Andrew opens his eyes he finds Aaron, Kevin and Nicky staring at him with wide eyes. Immediately Nicky starts to bawl, as he goes to hug Andrew. He seems to think better of it though, remembering Andrew’s no touching rule, but for once he doesn’t mind and reaches for Nicky’s arm to pull him into a hug. Aaron stares at him like he’s seen a ghost and as memories of the car crash start to come back he realises that might not be too far off from it. His whole body aches, his head hurts and the ongoing beep from the bed next to him isn’t helping. He pulls the curtain back to see who’s died next to him, then stops as he stares at the all familiar auburn hair of one certain Neil. He realises the man crying out for an Abram next to him must be Seth, the friend Neil told him stories about.

“Andrew?” Kevin asks softly.

He has to force his gaze away from Neil’s body, has to force himself to pretend he hasn’t spent months with him in the maze of hallways and rooms. Instead he pulls his gaze past Kevin, back to Aaron. Somehow, he seems to understand. He hasn’t forgotten about the reptans, the halls and the fluorescent lights. He looks at Neil, then back at Andrew, who nods.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron says, before leaving.

Nicky seems to think Andrew waking up is getting too much for Aaron, because he goes after him, leaving Kevin and Andrew behind with a corpse and a grieving man. Kevin moves to sit on the mattress and Andrew allows him to take his hand into his. Kevin has always had a hard time with being sincere, but he is trying his best.

“Stop that,” Andrew says.

Kevin looks relieved, but holds onto Andrew’s hand until Aaron and Nicky return with a nurse.

“Let’s get you out of here,” She says to Andrew. There is a kind smile plastered on her face, but her eyes are filled with sadness for her deceased patient. Andrew says nothing, but looks back at Neil as he is wheeled out of the room. There is a smile on his face and Andrew hates the very sight of it. He wishes he could wipe it off him. He wishes Neil would open his eyes and kiss him again.

Andrew should have known better than to wish for a happy future.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh yeah the "The words are quiet but the implications are loud" line is from the jorts video by BDG, idk why but it snuck into my mind while writing and I thought it was kinda funny so I left it in.  
> Also, the way the story starts it's indeed meant to make you think Andrew is the narrator, I thought it would be a cool thing to do! So, did y'all like that? Did it catch u by surprise? Im kinda curious, bc I know it worked on one of my beta's! 
> 
> Anyway if u liked this come say hi to me on my [tumblr](https://eloquent-apollo.tumblr.com/)


End file.
